When it comes to family estrangement, do you ever consider the idea of either—should I stay, or should I go?
There are no right or wrong choices we make to suit our needs. What’s important is we take responsibility for our actions. Because the dilemma of staying in a toxic relationship or being trapped in a dysfunctional family system, is extremely unhealthy. In fact, dangerous!
But what happens if you have no choice but to go? Especially when your close family chooses to ignore you or treat you like a stranger. I experienced this struggle firsthand—and till today it hurts me to know that my relatives whom I’ve grown up with, could cut full ties with me. Keeping away like I had the plague. But it’s their loss. Forever! Not mine.
Being stuck in an isolated dysfunctional home environment is paralyzing. But when you’re given the opportunity to embrace freedom, grab it before it’s gone. Because detachment from any toxic relationship is a healthy solution to a never-ending life of misery.
Change Your Focus with Family Estrangement
Family estrangement simply means you cut ties with the people who raised you, or with your siblings or even with relatives who no longer want to acknowledge you as family. That separation is significant especially when you look at the bigger picture. Because an opportunity is being presented to you.
The opportunity for you to start a new life free from control and violence. Away from the people who despise you. You’ll realize how this is an amazing chance of a lifetime to start fresh.
While society can view a broken family or a toxic relationship as a stigma, focusing on the negative hinders you from growing to your full potential. Look for the positive in family estrangement as a healthy choice for your success.
The best way to move on from any kind of traumatic experience is to change your focus. When you look for the positive in the negative, your life can change in an instant. Because your energy moves to where you focus next. So, choose your intention on what you want to achieve. In this way, you navigate away from the drama and choose to live your life.
Find a hobby that makes you smile. For example, I love taking photos of our natural world. I love watching movies as well as listening to 80s music. Focusing my energy on what I like has created a new path for me. And I’m happy making a life with my own choices.
Imagine with me for a second, when you were young and you scraped your knee. The pain stayed for a short while, but it healed leaving a scar. And slowly even the scar healed. When you experience trauma, you don’t see the scar but occasionally feel the burst of pain. Because it’s dormant in you until someone comes along to trigger your memory. So, how do you heal from this trauma?
Learn to follow the signs, what triggers your fear or anger is a lack of love for yourself. Acceptance of who you are, enables you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Because healing starts with you, not from the external world around you.
What’s Next…
I’ve spent years being away from my relatives has opened me to new opportunities for growth. And I’ve built a decent life for myself. And now I have a family.
They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. Which is why healing from family estrangement takes time. But I promise you the investment you put into gaining back your personal power is worth it.
