I have great admiration for single parents who can raise a successful child. Let’s be honest, it takes a lot of courage, using innovative ways to raise successful children alone. It’s not an easy thing to do. But .. it is also not impossible!
In this post, we look at the role of single parents, particularly in my own experiences, with my mom. She was a single parent even while we lived with my father, as a family. She encouraged me through her gentle whispers, to follow my dreams and I believe she raised a successful child. Me! Although many times in our life, we came to near giving up, struggling to survive. I’m so glad we didn’t. I am blessed to share with you, the wise mentor who gave me her unconditional love and full support, my mom.
How Do You Define a Successful Child
“Success is not something to be seen by the world, rather, it’s a hidden journey, we travel on our own.”
Excerpt from Meant to Be, a memoir by Alison Laverty
For me, success is a inward reflection of whether you are happy with the choices you made, without feeling embarrassed, knowing that others may judge you, on their notion of what success might look to them. Ultimately, one important life skill, we must learn in order to survive, the ability to solve problems or figure out our game plan through any challenges we experience.
My Salute to Single Parents
My mom celebrated her 85th birthday in April this year and she is still as sharp as ever. Being a single parent was not an easy role she took on, after separating from my father. There were periods of blackout for us both where we were numb. My own relationship with my father became estranged.
But mom carried herself proudly. She raised me using the best of her abilities, based on skills she took on, within her own experiences, in the hope she could help me in my future. I found myself not only reflecting on our struggles but I also see a bigger picture, in my own life. We’ve had an incredible experience together. Wow! It’s never been an easy path to walk but everything happened for a reason and in our favor. Right from the very beginning, we grew into our best self.
What Single Parents Go Through to Raise a Successful Child
I never knew my father even though we lived in the same house, he became the shadow that brought fear into my life from my childhood years. At the age of four I watched him change to become a violent stranger in our home.
However, consider this, single parents who work hard lead by examples through their actions. I watched my mom gracefully endure a hard life without ever complaining. She taught me patience, self respect and that I was responsible for my own life. When we had no money to pay our bills or facing challenge after challenge, she would sit and meditate and say, they is a way out of this, we just need to be quiet so we can see this through. Raising a successful child requires spending quality time to ensure the child understand what she is experiencing and how to express those emotions trapped inside. It’s true that love does conquer all.
Problems Single Parents Face in Society
In Singapore, during the 1970s, society was less open to single parents and I knew this personally. It was assumed that because children were raised by single parents, they were often rebels. It was either thought that these children didn’t listen or showed no respect.
I’ve heard comments like Oh, she comes from a broken home! Surely she is a troubled child! Keep away from that type of friends!
Mom heard a lot more than me but she ignored them and continued to encourage me with her Gentle Whispers, until one day, I took a leap of faith and moved out of what I called a normal ordinary life.
We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbel, The Hero with a Thousand Faces
Everything Happens for a Reason
When I was young, I asked my mom why it was that we suffered so much. She told me that, even before I was born, my destiny had already been written, that I must fulfill everything that was Meant to Be.”
Excerpt from Meant to Be, a memoir by Alison Laverty
Meant to be is my coming of age story of how I broke free from an emotionally turbulent and abusive upbringing. It is about how and why my 17 year relationship with my father became estranged as he erased me out of his life.
But the circumstances of my affliction led me on a path to travel into the unknown. I experienced our amazingly beautiful, extraordinary world, to find myself. To start to new life that’s worth living.
Meant to Be is the first of my debut memoirs, dedicated to my mother for the one thing she taught me, that no matter how much challenges and heartaches life presents you, no matter how many times you fall, be brave to rise up, to move on because love always conquers all.
Being Mother’s Day around the corner, I invited you to remember your mother. Whether it was turbulent or a joyful relationship, respect that journey together because it brought you here.
