Character of a person: Ordinary Hidden Traits Revealed

Ever wonder what an ordinary character of a person, can reveal about them?

This is the first series of posts discussing how our experiences and the influences behind them, can build a person’s character. Our characters form attitudes or behaviors which can motivate us to take action. In other words, why some people become aggressive while others maintain a quiet calmness.

Lets dig deeper into what builds the character of a person. Exploring their hidden truths that will reveal the essence of who they are. What influenced their behavior, their actions? Was it the motivation from their childhood memories that appeared to be real in their minds?

As part of this series, my next few posts, will reveal the characters from Meant to Be, my coming of age, debut memoir. Through these characters, I will show you how the past has a lot of influences with building our characters.

Without further delay, get ready to enter a world where the unknown will be revealed so destiny can take over.

How Traits and Values Make Up a Character of a Person

They say we are born with a blank slate and it is our parent’s responsibility to teach us life skills and values to guide us in our early years. The character of a person is hugely made up of individual experiences and learnt behaviors. Both consciously and unconsciously passed on from within the family home and these behaviors are triggered and brought to the fore when events impact us within the external environment.

Have you meet a toxic narcissist or bullies? They’re difficult to engage with and many of them are overbearing. Aggressive people may be difficult to deal with but they give us a reason to tap into why we react to their outrage. What if they were sent to us as a reflection— to play an important role in our growth?

We meet everyday ordinary people from different walks of life. Some are friendly, some may keep their distance from us while others you know immediately to keep away from. But all of them maintain a distinct quality and continue this cycle of learnt behavior passed from their parents, or the generation before.

What Makes Up a Person’s Persona

Have you ever heard of the saying never judge a book by it’s cover? But most often that is exactly what we do. When a person doesn’t smile, people avoid them because it is assumed they are reserved or unfriendly. Yet someone who is friendly becomes popular. Why is that? Perhaps we need to understand what is going on inside us, to understand the hidden scars that needs healing.

Consider this—right now, through your five senses of touch, smell, taste, sight and hearing—you are creating cues within your external environment. Cues that will remain dormant until a trigger impacts your reaction to a memory.

What that means is you are creating a future memory right now! No one will ever experience what you feel except you, in your own reality. These experiences can build your public persona. Let me explain further.

Every memory you create, be it happy or sad, sets an imprint in your mind which you will recall in the future as your memories. And your character is formed through these experiences. They can make or break your behavior in public depending on the severity of your experiences.

Your persona is the identity you show to others about who you are. It is shaped by the influence of society and we conform to fit in, to feel a sense of belonging. But remember your hidden true self hides within that which you show as your public persona.

What Our Ancestors Teach Us

It’s not just about our features or resemblances we inherit from parents. There are hidden influences we don’t see. When I was pregnant with my first child, I was asked about my family’s medical history with sickness and diseases. They show up in our genetic makeup.

What else can we learn or inherit from the people who came before us? Perhaps they had unfulfilled hopes and dreams, even fears passed on through our parents consciously and unconsciously. Whatever it is, let’s consider that deep yearning within you, the urge to want to do more with your life. Can you explain why you feel this? Is there a possibility you may have inherited it from your parents or ancestors?

We all yearn for something deeper within. Whether it’s our hopes and dreams or wanting to experience a life filled with adventure, our fears often hold us back. Genetic memories also know as the collective unconscious, is a theory termed by Carl Jung. It is a collection of our ancestor’s past visions and knowledge which everyone of us are born with and shared as ancestral experiences, carved within our unconscious mind. It lays the foundation in our childhood growing years, by the people who came before us. When we experience moments of intense difficulties especially in times of challenges, our human soul, mind or spirit can rise and instinctively reach into the core of our essence and use these instincts as an internal guidance system, to help us move forward.

Meant to Be: Meet the Characters

Whether you are writing to develop a character for your novel or memoir or just wanting to understand a person’s profile, you need to dig deeper to understand the forces that motivated them into action. What hidden truths do they secretly keep? How can we see the essence of who they were before what influenced their behavior.

From the clothes they wear to the precious items they keep, these choices they make defines what is important in their reality. Your observations of their movement will give you an idea of what brings them joy or why they behave in such a way as to protect or defend themselves from the reality in their minds. Take note of these activities, because they reveal that which you can’t see about their characters.

In my next post, I reveal the first of my three main characters in Meant to Be. There are two important characters that will drive the main character out onto the front stage of life, at the doorstep of Chapter One. I mean literally on the doorstep of my childhood home.

What role do each of them play in Meant Be? Perhaps you might see these same characters in your own home or among your friends. Who ever they are, pay attention to the message they will be presenting you.