Imagine with me for a second. You’re at a family party and you go up to wish a relative who ignores you. Purposely? And you wonder why they’re treating you this way. I’ve experience this first hand and can say it really hurts to see people near and dear to you behave this way.
The silent treatment is a painful experience especially when you are the one on the receiving end.
It’s frustrating! But it’s not always about you. Let’s look at the hidden agenda with why such toxic behavior is flowing to you.
In this post, I share the reason why I was given the silent treatment. And what I did to cope with the situation, to resolve it. I’m not a therapist nor am I an expert in toxic behavior but what I share is from my own experience. And I hope after reading this post, you’ll feel that you’re not alone with this experience.
Other Helpful Articles in The Abusers Toolkit
How to Reclaim Your Sanity from Gaslighting Manipulation
Family Estrangement: Should I Stay or Should I Go
Triangulation: The Silent Art of Dividing to Conquer
The Loudness of The Silent Treatment
I was born and raised in a turbulent home environment with constant argument and violence. My first experience with silent treatment came from my family home.
With two warring parties against each other, I learned first hand what it means when someone ignores you. And secondly the silent treatment was meant to teach me a lesson with choosing sides. Because as I found out the hard way, people who often use this tactic tend to have a hidden agenda.
Now it’s not on you to find out why they’re treating you this way. It’s your responsibility to run far away from them. And I’ll tell you why in a moment.
Why is this tactic used against you? In the past, I’ve often wondered this myself. Back then most of the time, I take it as my fault. Like I did something wrong to deserve being treated this way. But the truth is people who chose to use the silent treatment against me wanted me to know I’m an outsider or invisible to them. Because I know a secret about their flaws and they silenced me so no one else will find out.
Dealing with Toxic Behavior
People who behave this way, more likely can’t handle their own emotions. And they take it out on you to hide the truth about them.
Those who ignore you or refuse to have a casual chat with you, can’t manage their emotions. Whatever that may be, and it has nothing to do with you.
Coming back to my own experience, the people who created the conflict unknown to me, made me their scapegoat. Even though I wasn’t the one at fault. Be careful of toxic people who prey on the quiet and gentle souls. They see these traits in you as weaklings. And when you give them permission, they use you to their advantage.
When my extended family and relatives began giving me the silent treatment, I knew exactly what it meant. I wasn’t going to be their scapegoat anymore. I wanted a life of my own. And till today I’ve never been able to resolve this issue with them.
With gossips being served from different directions, I became the centre of their blame game. And I was told to apologise for my bad behavior. And through this ordeal, I learned to be independent and stand out on my own. The unfortunate incident became a blessing in disguise in my life.
Soaring through a new version of me while leaving the past behind. You see, for me, the only way to resolve the issue while saving my life is to simply let go. And honestly that’s the best thing for me because I’ve created a new life away from the drama of a dysfunctional family system.
Life is full of ups and downs. But if you keep yourself afloat, you’ll soon forget the issues and learn to enjoy a breath of fresh air. I call it the opportunity to create a new life. Have you ever experienced the silent treatment? I sure hope you steer away from being drowned in someone else’s world. And find your own path forward.
